Title: "Modesty In Fear"        

         "I went outside yesterday. It was the first time in awhile."

         Zero had called to check up on Erica. She was slowly coming out of the shock in the wake of Matt's death. But the slow trip to that point had been a rough one for her.

         "It's good to see that you're overcoming it," he replied to her. It really was. It's natural to have a traumatic period of time following a devastating event. It's a good thing when someone can come out of it being the same person that they were before. But truthfully, no one can ever be exactly the same as they were before the event took place.

         "I'm trying," she replied over the phone. "I know I have to get on with life, but it's so hard. He's not here. He'll never return. It only made it worse when I heard an old message of his on the answering machine." She slightly sniffled over the phone line. Zero heard it but didn't say anything in regards to it. "So how are you doing about it?" in return, she asked.

         Zero paused for just a moment. How, in fact, was he doing? The answer was, he didn't know. He refused to let his mind go too far into the subject. He was a rock in which others rested on for support. What would happen if that rock were to crumble? Zero didn't know the answer, nor did he want to find out. "I'm getting better," he said, feeling the mistruth come blaring from his tone.

         "I wish I had your strength," she replied.

         Zero was glad that she was across the phone line. His strength was coming from her, but she didn't know it. If she wasn't in the state that she was, he knew he would be a lot worse off. Maybe still not breaking down, but he'd be showing his emotions about it more. But with Erica, she provided a system of a new support… a support of dependency that required him to have the strength.

         Sensing the break in the conversation, she spoke up again. It was something that she had been unable to say anything about a week before, due to the position of her emotions. But at that point, she was able to tell him, "Look… Lint… you don't have to do this. I'll be fine."

         Zero raised his head up upon hearing her message. "Do what?" he quietly asked.

         "You don't have to support this child. It's not your fault nor your problem," she replied. She tried to say it in a forceful, truthful tone, but the horror of him changing his mind wore thick in Erica's head. The plea for him to not agree with her was strong in-between her words.

         Zero sighed. She didn't have to say that. He didn't want to be in the position that he now held -professional wrestler- but it was a decision he was going to stick to, even if just for an embryo. "No… when Matt died, his load became mine. I wouldn't be able to waste my life away in my apartment, knowing that there is something better that I could be doing; something that I could finally repay someone for, even if there never was a debt to begin with."

         Tears began to fall down her face, although it was only a sniffle that Zero heard on the other line. She raised the phone up closer to her ear, muffling the tone as it positioned. "No, that's just it. You don't have to do anything. I don't want you to waste your life away in a wrestling ring, knowing that there is not a single committing reason for you to have to be there."

         "But there is," a low tone replied. Zero added, "It's not the number one place that I want to be, but it serves its purpose in why I have to be there. In fact, after just one week, I suddenly feel like I again have a purpose in life." He lied with that last sentence, only in hopes that it would help Erica convince herself that what he was doing was the right thing. There was a feeling of purpose, albeit just a slight tingle in his thumb, but the field of work was something that held a big caution sign as to whether he truly wanted to last in it again.

         Over the phone, she sighed. "Zero, you know I'll never be able to repay you."

         He ran his hands through his hair. He knew she'd never be able to repay him in physical dollar terms. She wasn't going to be able to afford a child on her own, much less anything else. But she had done something else that was a payment in itself. "Erica," he said to her, "when Matt was here, you were there for him. You have been there for me as a communication companion… as someone I can talk to. I can't ask for much more…"

         "But you know…" she blurted in.

         "And with that," he added, "is payment enough. Everything I do now, I do it out of my own free will. Believe me." He didn't realize how tight of a grip he held on the phone.

         "I… believe you…" she said. Her tone hung in the air, as if she wanted to say something else. But after a moment, she let her statement stand with those three words.

         "Good," replied Zero. Now, if he could only convince himself of that same statement.