Title: "From Her Perspective"        

         Into a dark room, she peered. He had been restless all day. The parent/teacher discussion at school informed her of the troubles. His eyesight problems had started a few years prior, but in those formative stages, set the course for the bullying and his anxious retaliation against the other children. The conference earlier in the day was just another in a long list of times Carenthia had went before her son's teachers to listen and attempt to explain his behavior to those whose patience rarely allowed for outliers in the classroom.

         She took a moment to relax. He appeared to be asleep. Stretched sideways in bed with the pillow shoved out of the way, this was usually the indicator. Content, she closed the door. She turned to see Robert, her fiancé, coming out of the washroom.

         "Is Dougie asleep?" he asked.

         She nodded her head. "Finally," she said. It had been a long day.

         "Did you get a chance to look over the options for the reception venue?" He asked. He pointed down the hallway to the kitchen table, where a stack of brochure options rested for their upcoming wedding. They were still six months away, but the planning and decisions to be made never ended.

         She had completely forgotten. In the hectic schedule of what the day had been, planning for the event that would begin the rest of her life slipped to the side. Parent/teacher conference, arranging for a friend to watch her son after, and a trip to the airport had consumed her.

         "I..." she said. "I completely forgot. I'm sorry, it's just been a..." She leaned against the wall of the hallway.

         "Hey," he said, putting his arms around her waist. "It's okay." Robert leaned in and gave her a small kiss. "You've been busy. Dougie hasn't made it any easier right now." He looked into her eyes and smiled. "But things will slow down. We'll figure out what to do. And then we can have the celebration we keep putting off."

         She returned his smile and gave him another kiss. "I know, I know." She exhaled a bit of exhaustion. "Once he has the surgery..." She trailed off.

         He released his arms from around her and took off of his shirt. "The doctors are optimistic, which is always good. I'm in line for a promotion, which should free up some money." He tossed the shirt into the dirty clothes hamper of the washroom. "It will all work out. Just stop worrying about everything." He put his hand on her shoulder. "Come on, let's go to bed," he said, smiling, and nodded to the bedroom.

         She put her hand on his hand and returned his smile. "You go ahead, I'll be there in a minute."

         "Don't be too long," he said.

         "I won't," she said. "I'm going to look over those options."

         "Oh Carenthia, that could wait until tomorrow. Really, it's no rush."

         She shook her head no. "If I wait until then, there will be other stuff getting in the way." She gave him a smile. "It never ends, you know. This. I should just do it now."

         "All right," he said, and began to walk to the bedroom. "But if you're not here in fifteen minutes, I'm coming to rescue you." He acted out the motions of a fireman, in an awkward way that made no sense at all.

         She laughed at his antics. "Okay, okay," she said. "I'll be there before then, so no need to suit up."

         They laughed together, and then she turned to walk to the kitchen.

         "Oh," he said, turning back to her. "I almost forgot. Did you meet up with your friend today?"

         She paused in her walk, but removed the surprised look from her face before turning back to him. "Oh, yeah, I had a quick lunch with them."

         "They doing well? What brings them to San Francisco?" He slipped off his socks and stepped back into the hallway to throw them next to the shirt.

         "Business," she said.

         "Well, if they're staying very long, we should have them over for dinner."

         "Oh," she said, "It was just an overnight thing. Happenchance that I was even able to see them for that long, really."

         He walked up to her. "Well, next time you have friends in, invite them over. I never get to meet people from when you were younger." He gave her a kiss. "It's all some mystery." He smiled. "But I think that's one of the things I love about you."

         She smiled and returned his kiss. "No mystery, really," she said. "I just don't have an exciting past," she lied.

         "Hurry up and come to bed!" He said, slapping her bottom with a soft pat.

         "Okay!" She said, smiling as he tossed his hand back to him.

         She turned and began to walk back to the kitchen. Robert didn't know whom she had met. She had no intentions of telling him. But even if she said "Lint," he would still have no context. She had never told him about that aspect of her past. Or the true identity of her son's father. And she wanted to keep it that way. It was simple. Much easier without the explanations that would follow. The only thing she had shared about Dougie's father was that he abandoned them years ago, leaving her to raise the child alone. That much was true, actually. Robert had been completely understanding, and honestly, the perfect man to enter her life a few years later. She didn't feel as though she were keeping secrets from him. Instead, she only wanted to protect him.

         She sat down at the kitchen table and began to look at the potential venues for their upcoming wedding. She looked at the first one, then the second, but by the third, it looked like the first. She couldn't focus on these. They were too abstract, too in the future. Her mind was still stuck in the past.

         Just hours prior, she had seen Lint Douglas for the first time since Oregon. She still remembered back then, watching his car pull out to leave. He had looked back. She had waved. He waved back. And that was it. They promised not to write each other. That moment would be the end, and they would force themselves to start a new life free of each other and their lifestyle.

         Then, two months later, she discovered she was pregnant.

         She could have contacted him. She could have told him. And maybe, he would have returned. And they could have created some resemblance of a life together with their offspring. A certain type of family. But she knew it wouldn't be okay. That they couldn't. So she scrapped the letter she had composed, keeping true to their vow to each other. And she set out to embrace and accept this new life that would soon come before her.

         Why had she contacted him again, nearly ten years later? Was it in a panic? People don't handwrite letters and then take them to the mailbox in a prolonged sense of panic. Reason would kick in eventually.

         He had stood before her just hours earlier. A wash of emotions were present inside of her during that brief period of interaction with him again. It was like talking to a stranger, but somewhere inside of this was a familiarity that felt comfortable. Almost, instinctual. It had been a tormenting moment of excitement to see him again.

         She felt horrible for not letting Lint meet his son. But she couldn't. Not now. Or ever, she thought. Her life was too stuck in where it was for it to be shaken now. She desperately needed his assistance for Dougie's operation. But was that really why she had contacted him?

         She looked back at the venue options before her. A permanency was slowly creeping into her life. She still didn't know why she had seen him. It was a mistake, she was sure. And now, because of her, he was putting himself back at risk in situations they both knew he couldn't perform in any longer. Had she of known about his diagnosis and surgery beforehand, then she...

         She would have contacted him way back then. He had almost died. What if he had? That single wave to each other would have been the last memory. At least now...

         She unknowingly crumbled one of the brochures in her hand. This was the thing she hated the most. The second-guessing. The logic against emotion. Everything that told her not to mess up this life that she had. It was good. It was what she needed. She had a son to think of, too. And she hadn't done anything wrong. Why even go back to this spot in her past? She thought back to her family's initial response to the news, to Lint's departure, to the pregnancy.

         What is a family?

         She took a deep breath and sighed. She closed her eyes as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

         Lint was the only true family she had. Her brother. And that discovery, ten years ago in Oregon, tore them apart.